My Stay-At-Home Self

On first glance, she looks like I pictured she would. She's married to an incredibly handsome man. She lives in the country and writes stories, just like she always dreamed of doing. She drives an F-150 and dances the line between tom-boy-all-grown-up and grown woman who loves shoes and loves to read InStyle in a bubble bath.

The thing that surprises me most about her is the fact that there are two carseats in the back of her truck and the two cutest boys in the world ride in them.

She has kids.

Maybe that doesn't surprise me too much. She's always liked kids, even though if you ask her, she'd tell you she can't remember really dreaming about her own much when she was younger. But now, not only does she have kids, she stays home with them all day.

This is the only part of my current place in life that makes me come to a screeching halt when I think about it.

A stay at home mom???

Apparently, that is me.

My mom stayed home with me before I started school, so I should have had a frame of reference in my mind. But that was back in the days when I didn't realize it was a thing with an acronym and everything. These days it seems like being a SAHM (see that cute little acronym there?) is it's own identity. And in my early twenties, before I had kids and even after I had kids and was still working part-time, being a SAHM seemed to have very distinct qualifications.

Sarah's Ridiculous List of Qualifications for Being a SAHM:
1. Have a kid.
2. Stay home with them.
3. Wake up at 4am. Better yet, never sleep.
4. Own an entire week's worth of denim jumpers. Floor length, naturally.
5. Buy white keds.
6. Have an entire craft room filled with popsicle sticks and cute little puff balls.
7. Learn to homemake everything. This includes but is not limited to household cleaning products, all the family's food, and clothes. Everything.
8. Drive a mini-van.

The only things that sounded good to me about this list when I first had kids were 1 and 2. But I just knew that if I could stay home with my adorable little baby boys, my life would be so much easier.

You can stop laughing now, fellow SAHM's. ;)

(Side note confession? I was guilty of being a participant in the Mommy Wars almost from the start of my being a Mom. I was sure it was harder for me to work and be a mom than for some woman to stay home all day and can tomatoes while her angelic children played on their freshly mopped kitchen floor.

Now I know that being a Mom, while incredibly, fabulously rewarding, is hard no matter what. It's hard to be home all the time. It's hard to work and juggle home responsibilities.)

Anyway, I knew my life would be easier if I could stay home, and anyway, I wanted to be the one being with my kids all day, so when it worked out for me to stay home, I was excited.

It has been nothing like I expected. And I can't wait to share with y'all on this blog the zillions of ways it has exceeded my expectations. For now, here's my altered list, forged after a year and a half of stay-at-home bliss. ;)

Sarah's Revised List of Qualifications for Being a SAHM:
1. Have a kid.
2. Stay home with them.
3. Wake up eventually. It helps if you do it before your kids are up. But if not, set out cheerios and get up eventually. Preferably before you hear any screaming.
4. Wear whatever you want. I like jeans. Some like yoga pants. If you're married, your husband will appreciate if you occasionally put on makeup.
5. Buy adorable heels that are completely impractical for a woman carrying a young toddler, holding the hand of a preschooler, and carrying a purse and diaper bag. Don't wear those heels but do visit them in your closet now and then. Use your shoe budget to buy your kids shoes, because, well, that's what moms do.
6. Try your hand at crafts. Kids are very easily impressed by any artistic attempt and will be happy if you just let them color on a piece of construction paper and then glue googly eyes on it.
7. Learn what things are worth making to you. I love making our food. Haha, okay, that's not always true. But I do like making things like brownies from scratch and learning to love cooking dinner without too many mixes. I do this because I want to. As far as cleaning products? I'm obsessed with Clorox wipes. Why would I mess up the cleaning system I have? Judge my non-natural cleaning wipes if you must...
8. Drive whatever you want that fits your family. Bad news? It might not be the car you've pictured yourself in. Good news? It's just a car. It doesn't have to define you.

SAHMs, what surprised you about staying home? What misconceptions did you have? WAHMs and WOHMs, anything you're brave enough to chime in on? Anyone want to confess that you thought we had it easy...? ;)