Continuing this week’s theme, I’m going to talk about what it’s like to be a work-at-home mom.
You never sleep.
Okay, end of post. Have a good weekend! Just kidding. Kind of.
To paint a clearer picture, I'll tell you what a typical week looks like for us. I'm so lucky to have help from my mother-in-law and mom. AG will go to their houses for a few hours a couple times a week so I can work. I also hit the jackpot with a fairly low-maintenance kid who likes playing by herself. Though she probably learned that out of necessity since I worked a full-time, salaried job from home from when she was born until she was almost two.
On days it's just me and AG, I try to answer some emails and lay out my day in the mornings while she is still waking up, having her breakfast, and watching quality educational television programming :) When she's not at a grandma's house, we are running errands, going to the gym, or getting together with our friends. I get more work finished during her naptime and then ideally start dinner when she wakes up. But let's be honest, most of the time, I haven't even been to the grocery store by 4 in the afternoon and end up picking up a rotisserie chicken or getting takeout :) I'm trying to be better about this.
When my husband gets home from work, it's family time. We eat dinner and go for a walk. My husband and I will collapse in front of the TV hang out after the kiddo goes to bed. But a few nights a week, I will go to a coffee shop or retreat to the dining room and work on my latest novel or finish up work after AG goes to bed. My husband is excellent at giving me this much-needed introvert time. It's the equivalent of a rejuvenating day at the spa for me.
So, I've done an excellent job at selling the WAHM life. How do I make this work? Here are my best tips that I think apply across the board.
1. I make very detailed to-do lists for each day. Separated by necessary item and more flexible goal. The prettier the colors, the better. Trust me.
When you look back on today, what image do you hope to see of your kids? Or what's your favorite memory with your own parents?
2. Stuff slips through the cracks all the time, or at least gets pushed to the next day in my planner. But it's important to stay positive and flexible, because...
3. Family is the most important. As much as I try to speak love to my daughter, there have been many times I've had to ask forgiveness for snapping at her when my plans are disrupted. But I quickly change my tune. I always want her to know I'm excited to see her and spend time with her. If you give your family the impression your work/writing/hobbies are more important, this crucial part of your life will suffer. And if family is not your number one priority, your work/writing/hobbies will suffer. It's just weird like that.
4. AG and I try to have one fun mommy-daughter date a week. No distractions. On Wednesday mornings, we like going to the farmers market to pick out fresh produce, stop at the playground while it's still cool outside, and then go to lunch. There's nothing I love more than seeing my little blondie running around on the playground, beaming with fresh blackberries smeared all over her face. It's what life is all about!
5. Yes, I could keep my house cleaner, live a life of Pinterest thoughtfulness, cook all of the food in my fridge before it goes bad, and certainly sleep more. But the most important thing is having no regrets.
I think this is the common denominator between Sarah, Jaime, and I. Our days are all filled to the brim with responsibilities plus the added bonus of pursuing our writing dreams. No matter what we do, we all fall prey to mommy guilt for one thing or another.
But we all work hard to find that happy balance between spreadsheets and laundry loads and filling word processor pages so we can take advantage of as many blackberry grins as possible. Because we love the socks off of our families and, at the end of the day, that's how we want our kids to remember life when they look back on their childhoods.
3. Family is the most important. As much as I try to speak love to my daughter, there have been many times I've had to ask forgiveness for snapping at her when my plans are disrupted. But I quickly change my tune. I always want her to know I'm excited to see her and spend time with her. If you give your family the impression your work/writing/hobbies are more important, this crucial part of your life will suffer. And if family is not your number one priority, your work/writing/hobbies will suffer. It's just weird like that.
4. AG and I try to have one fun mommy-daughter date a week. No distractions. On Wednesday mornings, we like going to the farmers market to pick out fresh produce, stop at the playground while it's still cool outside, and then go to lunch. There's nothing I love more than seeing my little blondie running around on the playground, beaming with fresh blackberries smeared all over her face. It's what life is all about!
5. Yes, I could keep my house cleaner, live a life of Pinterest thoughtfulness, cook all of the food in my fridge before it goes bad, and certainly sleep more. But the most important thing is having no regrets.
I think this is the common denominator between Sarah, Jaime, and I. Our days are all filled to the brim with responsibilities plus the added bonus of pursuing our writing dreams. No matter what we do, we all fall prey to mommy guilt for one thing or another.
But we all work hard to find that happy balance between spreadsheets and laundry loads and filling word processor pages so we can take advantage of as many blackberry grins as possible. Because we love the socks off of our families and, at the end of the day, that's how we want our kids to remember life when they look back on their childhoods.
When you look back on today, what image do you hope to see of your kids? Or what's your favorite memory with your own parents?
2 comments:
Responsibilities vs no regrets...that is a tricky balance, isn't it? But oh, those blackberry grins. This former WAHM can attest to how fast the days and years pass. It seems like yesterday that I was setting a timer during my work day so as not to be late in picking up Hannah at Mother's Day Out and then at preschool. Somehow in about five minutes' time, she danced in junior high drill team, cheered in high school, graduated college, and got a job at a Big 4 accounting firm. I promise you...it was FIVE minutes!
So God bless moms who juggle. Sleep will eventually be yours again---in about five minutes.
@Kathleen Amen and amen! I am fresh from a vacation away from my child and fresh with the reminder that my time with her is most precious no matter what my list says!! I will make the most of the five minutes :)
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