colorful lists and blackberry grins: life as a WAHM

Continuing this week’s theme, I’m going to talk about what it’s like to be a work-at-home mom.

You never sleep. 

Okay, end of post. Have a good weekend! Just kidding. Kind of. 

To paint a clearer picture, I'll tell you what a typical week looks like for us. I'm so lucky to have help from my mother-in-law and mom. AG will go to their houses for a few hours a couple times a week so I can work. I also hit the jackpot with a fairly low-maintenance kid who likes playing by herself. Though she probably learned that out of necessity since I worked a full-time, salaried job from home from when she was born until she was almost two. 

On days it's just me and AG, I try to answer some emails and lay out my day in the mornings while she is still waking up, having her breakfast, and watching quality educational television programming :) When she's not at a grandma's house, we are running errands, going to the gym, or getting together with our friends. I get more work finished during her naptime and then ideally start dinner when she wakes up. But let's be honest, most of the time, I haven't even been to the grocery store by 4 in the afternoon and end up picking up a rotisserie chicken or getting takeout :) I'm trying to be better about this. 

When my husband gets home from work, it's family time. We eat dinner and go for a walk. My husband and I will collapse in front of the TV hang out after the kiddo goes to bed. But a few nights a week, I will go to a coffee shop or retreat to the dining room and work on my latest novel or finish up work after AG goes to bed. My husband is excellent at giving me this much-needed introvert time. It's the equivalent of a rejuvenating day at the spa for me. 

So, I've done an excellent job at selling the WAHM life. How do I make this work? Here are my best tips that I think apply across the board.

1. I make very detailed to-do lists for each day. Separated by necessary item and more flexible goal. The prettier the colors, the better. Trust me.

2. Stuff slips through the cracks all the time, or at least gets pushed to the next day in my planner. But it's important to stay positive and flexible, because...

3. Family is the most important. As much as I try to speak love to my daughter, there have been many times I've had to ask forgiveness for snapping at her when my plans are disrupted. But I quickly change my tune. I always want her to know I'm excited to see her and spend time with her. If you give your family the impression your work/writing/hobbies are more important, this crucial part of your life will suffer. And if family is not your number one priority, your work/writing/hobbies will suffer. It's just weird like that.

4. AG and I try to have one fun mommy-daughter date a week. No distractions. On Wednesday mornings, we like going to the farmers market to pick out fresh produce, stop at the playground while it's still cool outside, and then go to lunch. There's nothing I love more than seeing my little blondie running around on the playground, beaming with fresh blackberries smeared all over her face. It's what life is all about!

5. Yes, I could keep my house cleaner, live a life of Pinterest thoughtfulness, cook all of the food in my fridge before it goes bad, and certainly sleep more. But the most important thing is having no regrets.

I think this is the common denominator between Sarah, Jaime, and I. Our days are all filled to the brim with responsibilities plus the added bonus of pursuing our writing dreams. No matter what we do, we all fall prey to mommy guilt for one thing or another.

But we all work hard to find that happy balance between spreadsheets and laundry loads and filling word processor pages so we can take advantage of as many blackberry grins as possible. Because we love the socks off of our families and, at the end of the day, that's how we want our kids to remember life when they look back on their childhoods.

When you look back on today, what image do you hope to see of your kids? Or what's your favorite memory with your own parents?

My Work-Outside-The-Home Life

If you'd told me I was going to be a career-woman I probably would have lol'd. I was raised from the homeschooled all 12 years thing, to the daughter of a pastor, to the I-married-a-youth-pastor. So where does working outside the home and having two kids fit into the equation? Heck, I even know how to can tomatoes...something I'm trying desperately to forget.

I'm so looking forward to exploring the nuances of being a WOHM on the blog here and how it fits into the mold of being the Mom God created me to be. Since there's not a lot of resources out there for us WOHM's, I hope my contribution to this blog can be especially encouraging to those of us who God has led into a direction that doesn't tend to be most preferred within a Christian family setting. But it CAN be done, and in a God-honoring way where my husband is still my Captain, oh Captain, and yet I bring home the bacon. (Which doesn't equate to us living on a pig farm...yet).

So here's a few critical things I've learned about myself in this foray into the workforce of directing people, hitting the 9-5 grind and still coming home to balance family, housekeeping, child rearing, church ministry and that ever-distant concept of ... time to myself?!

1. Oprah is nuts. Yes I deserve "me" time. Yes, it would benefit my family. But no, there's no way possible to make that happen. So yes, Oprah is nuts.
2.  I can't cook--so it's an obvious disqualifier for me being a SAHM
3.  I am not a self-contained liberal advocate who thinks her husband is a wuss or that I am somehow superior.
4. Being a mom becomes more precious because of my limited time.
5. House chores are suddenly put into perspective on the low scale of importance.
6. Sometimes you just have to realize not every one is going to agree with you being a WOHM.
7. Sometimes you just have to know that the Lord takes people down very unique roads and it's awesome to see how He works.
8. Coffee is a necessity for every mom -- Acronym notwithstanding.
9. I will never--ever be geared mentally, physically or emotionally for more than 2 kids.
10. ...and that's OK
11. I will often be an outsider in the world of Moms...and that's ok too.

Unlike SAHM's, makeup is daily occurrence, as are showers, dress clothes, and heels. But like SAHM's, pajama pants are still the preferred source of comfort and kids bouncing off the walls still make me smile...and cringe. We have a lot in common...and a lot of differences. But this I know to be true...we all, at the end of the day, kiss our children's temples and pray a prayer of grace and blessing. In that, we are united.

My Stay-At-Home Self

On first glance, she looks like I pictured she would. She's married to an incredibly handsome man. She lives in the country and writes stories, just like she always dreamed of doing. She drives an F-150 and dances the line between tom-boy-all-grown-up and grown woman who loves shoes and loves to read InStyle in a bubble bath.

The thing that surprises me most about her is the fact that there are two carseats in the back of her truck and the two cutest boys in the world ride in them.

She has kids.

Maybe that doesn't surprise me too much. She's always liked kids, even though if you ask her, she'd tell you she can't remember really dreaming about her own much when she was younger. But now, not only does she have kids, she stays home with them all day.

This is the only part of my current place in life that makes me come to a screeching halt when I think about it.

A stay at home mom???

Apparently, that is me.

My mom stayed home with me before I started school, so I should have had a frame of reference in my mind. But that was back in the days when I didn't realize it was a thing with an acronym and everything. These days it seems like being a SAHM (see that cute little acronym there?) is it's own identity. And in my early twenties, before I had kids and even after I had kids and was still working part-time, being a SAHM seemed to have very distinct qualifications.

Sarah's Ridiculous List of Qualifications for Being a SAHM:
1. Have a kid.
2. Stay home with them.
3. Wake up at 4am. Better yet, never sleep.
4. Own an entire week's worth of denim jumpers. Floor length, naturally.
5. Buy white keds.
6. Have an entire craft room filled with popsicle sticks and cute little puff balls.
7. Learn to homemake everything. This includes but is not limited to household cleaning products, all the family's food, and clothes. Everything.
8. Drive a mini-van.

The only things that sounded good to me about this list when I first had kids were 1 and 2. But I just knew that if I could stay home with my adorable little baby boys, my life would be so much easier.

You can stop laughing now, fellow SAHM's. ;)

(Side note confession? I was guilty of being a participant in the Mommy Wars almost from the start of my being a Mom. I was sure it was harder for me to work and be a mom than for some woman to stay home all day and can tomatoes while her angelic children played on their freshly mopped kitchen floor.

Now I know that being a Mom, while incredibly, fabulously rewarding, is hard no matter what. It's hard to be home all the time. It's hard to work and juggle home responsibilities.)

Anyway, I knew my life would be easier if I could stay home, and anyway, I wanted to be the one being with my kids all day, so when it worked out for me to stay home, I was excited.

It has been nothing like I expected. And I can't wait to share with y'all on this blog the zillions of ways it has exceeded my expectations. For now, here's my altered list, forged after a year and a half of stay-at-home bliss. ;)

Sarah's Revised List of Qualifications for Being a SAHM:
1. Have a kid.
2. Stay home with them.
3. Wake up eventually. It helps if you do it before your kids are up. But if not, set out cheerios and get up eventually. Preferably before you hear any screaming.
4. Wear whatever you want. I like jeans. Some like yoga pants. If you're married, your husband will appreciate if you occasionally put on makeup.
5. Buy adorable heels that are completely impractical for a woman carrying a young toddler, holding the hand of a preschooler, and carrying a purse and diaper bag. Don't wear those heels but do visit them in your closet now and then. Use your shoe budget to buy your kids shoes, because, well, that's what moms do.
6. Try your hand at crafts. Kids are very easily impressed by any artistic attempt and will be happy if you just let them color on a piece of construction paper and then glue googly eyes on it.
7. Learn what things are worth making to you. I love making our food. Haha, okay, that's not always true. But I do like making things like brownies from scratch and learning to love cooking dinner without too many mixes. I do this because I want to. As far as cleaning products? I'm obsessed with Clorox wipes. Why would I mess up the cleaning system I have? Judge my non-natural cleaning wipes if you must...
8. Drive whatever you want that fits your family. Bad news? It might not be the car you've pictured yourself in. Good news? It's just a car. It doesn't have to define you.

SAHMs, what surprised you about staying home? What misconceptions did you have? WAHMs and WOHMs, anything you're brave enough to chime in on? Anyone want to confess that you thought we had it easy...? ;)

Your Naptime Novelists

This is my life in a mouthful. And it's Laurie's and it's Sarah's, and if you're reading this, it's probably yours too. Messy windows globbed with handprints, or in my case, lip-prints, crumb covered carpets, fruit snacks under the couch cushions, crusties on the coffee table, toys hanging off the ceiling fan, laundry clean but still in the laundry room ... the list goes on.

Fact of the matter is, no matter what area of life you come from, if you're a mom, it's all a part of the package. We're excited here at The Naptime Novelists to overcome the elements of competition that, let's face it, run rampant among us women. You're a career-woman? How do you feel about never seeing your children and are you comfortable with the fact they might be hurt by your absence in their life? You're a stay at home mom? I wish I had that sort of freetime. 'Nuf said. You work from home? Aren't going like--half crazy? Your house must be shambles of paperwork and toys and don't you think it's wrong to use the TV as a babysitter?

Criticisms, competition, questioning...

At The Naptime Novelists we want to move past that and realize that in the end... WE ARE ALL JUST MOMS. There is no one way, right way, narrow path to motherhood. It's a conglomeration of the crazy that we call "life". the crazy that the Lord has led our/your family to, and the crazy that surrounds the greatest loves of our lives.

So join us here at The Naptime Novelists, for three different perspectives, three different walks of life, but all with the same end goal: to be the best, God-centered Mom we can possibly be.

Sarah, our resident stay-at-home mom of boys ... well the word "boys" tells you she'll have lots of stories to tell. She's a published author, yes she is, and we are so proud!! Contrary to popular belief, she does not spend her days canning tomatoes and wearing ankle-length jean jumpers. She's pretty cool. But you'll find that out for yourselves on Mondays.

Laurie, our very own work-at-home mom of her little princess. She can sing every song a Bubbleguppie ever crooned, play a mean game of basketball, and still build her in-home online business. Crazy, I know. She writes contemporary romance and we've read her stuff and between us and her agent, we'll see this woman published! Contrary to popular belief, she is not bald from her pulling her hair out and doesn't drink coffee. But you'll find that out for yourselves on Fridays.

Jaime, I'm that work-outside-the-home mom of a Kokomo Jo who is half princess half tomboy. Then there's my toddling Peter Pan who's biggest arch enemy is Captain Hook, a.k.a. Daddy who is relentless in taking away this 2 year old's bottle and calling it a wrap. I log my 45 at work as a Director of Associate Development, Sales and Relations, in between on the run blog posts, book writing, communiques with my agent, helping my man out with his youth ministry at church and definitely NOT excelling in the culinary arts. On the side, I play Maid Marian with my bow and arrow, have rock climbed, fly-fished and gone a tad weird in the whole outdoorsy side of things. But, you'll find that out for yourselves on Wednesdays.

SO JOIN US! Three days a week, three messes of moms, three muddlers in this journey called "motherhood". We want your comments, your interaction, and most of all your forgiveness. We might publicly lose our minds here ;)...and for that we apologize in advance.